4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
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