About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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