I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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