i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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