I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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