he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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