Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
