Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
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Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
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Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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