I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize