it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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