Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
