How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize