but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
