that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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