Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i drank out of a bidet.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
