I will die if light touches me.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
