ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
never play flip cup with pint glasses
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
