Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize