period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
