Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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