OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
