i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
birth control should be required to get into college
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize