Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize
