Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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