Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
