I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
