I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
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stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
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My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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