am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
