I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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