Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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