I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize