The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
