so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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