So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
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