somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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