I got chris browned last night
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
