This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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