i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
