tonight lets celebrate not being married
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
