is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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