Your face is a jimmy john
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
