he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
