Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
