Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
