I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
