I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
