So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Are we still banned from the library?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
