we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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