like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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