The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I just saw a hot homeless man
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I will die if light touches me.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
