Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
