just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
