I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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