Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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