It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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