I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
