oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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