if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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